HOW SONY TURNED THINGS AROUND (ASIDE FROM THE ATTEMPTED RAPE)

JABII
4 min readDec 10, 2021

Allegedly.

SONY wasn’t always a beacon of virtue. SONY was a merchant of death. Founded in 1946 by Nazi officers that fled to Japan. Who only escaped justice at Nuremberg because of their most heinous crime. Asian face. Once they blended in with Japanese society they created the great beast known as SONY. In 1941 after countless Chinese blood sacrifices they birthed the SUPER NINTENDO ENTERTAINMENT SYSTEM. The SNES would go on to cause the first of many school shootings. Then SONY killed Michael Jackson to purchase the Beatles’ catalog from his widow.

Good night, sweet prince : (

Here’s where SONY turned things around. On paper SONY is a Japanese company, Aryan founders aside. Roughly 99.9% of Japanese games are set in highschool and about magical karate rape. Japan can not stop plagiarizing Harry Potter. Japan never ceases unleashing this sinful giant eyed garbage on the rest of the world. Since 2018 SONY of America has tried to stem the tide of filth. At least outside the degenerate east. Games released in wholesome western countries for the PS4/5 have evil content cut or changed. For example, in Catherine: Full Body, a line that says a trans character wasn’t a woman was removed. Based. In general they cover up cleavages, asses, shoulders and ankles to prevent misogynistic thoughts. May Allah bless SONY. Notably, they did not censor a male on allegedly female sex scene in The Last Of Us II. Because that game is art.

LAST OF US II: The front one is a woman I swear

SONY’s most heroic stand yet, came in Final Fantasy VII Remake. Specifically, it came in Tifa. The Original FF7 is considered, by autists and weeaboos, to be the citizen Kane of Japanese video games. If citizen Kane had robot dragons, crossdressing and Mr. T. In FF7 there is a character named Tifa. Like a true modern woman, Tifa runs her own business and is part of a terrorist organization. Also, Tifa in the original, had absurdly large knockers. Just disgustingly rabid sweater puppies. Huge tits. Honk honk. Booba. Forgive me, where was I? Oh right. SONY of America’s ethics rightfully forbid the FF7 Remake team from making remake Tifa as unrealistic as the (W)horrific original. She still summons dolphins though.

Tifa: New and Old

Good job redeeming yourself SONY. Although, some would argue they unredeemed themselves. Unfortunately, SONY of America has taken a slight ethical misstep recently. A small one. The VP tried to fuck a 15 year old boy. Or for you Final Fantasy/roman numeral fans, a XV year old boy. Which is totally in line with Roman tradition. Maybe also in line with Final Fantasy once the tits are completely gone. A Youtuber baited the VP with the promises of underage sex and caught it on camera.

SONY VP photographed making an oopsie whoopsie while wearing SONY merch

However, various degenerates are trying to use this kerfuffle as some sort of ‘own’ against SONY of America. Alleging that this is another example of our current culture being too obsessed with imaginary tits as opposed to actual predation and abuse. That removing the ‘male gaze’ from video games, doesn’t protect real people. That book burning doesn’t stop rape. Ridiculous.

More like “MALE GAYS”

I wish SONY of America nothing but the best in their crusade against degeneracy. Maybe stay away from playgrounds, though.

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