BOOGIE’S ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION OF FRANK HASSLE
This one is going down in the history books, folks. General Frank Hassle and whoremongering racist Boogie1488 had a meeting of the minds on Keemstar’s show. For those of you that don’t know, because you have better things to waste your time on, Keemstar is a hairy attention whore. He has a show where he gossips about internet people and their totally interesting feuds.
This time, however, it was different. Even more important than normal. This was the battle for America’s soul. Between a disrespected veteran and the purest symbol of globalism (because he’s shaped like a globe). Boogie dared our protagonist to show up at his front door. Threatening to end his life if he did. And you know what? That’s exactly what the professional soldier of fortune Frank Hassle did. Commander in chief Hassle never ignores a challenge. Especially, when the challenger does an effeminate imitation of his voice. That crosses the line. You can’t intimidate a marine or imply he is a homosexual.
So, Special Ops Shot Caller Frank Hassle arranged a trip to Arkansas. Using his numerous contacts among the dark net, our military daddy slipped into Lafayette undetected. Legal expert Frank Hassle stood on Boogie’s front lawn. Said lawn was already littered with Halloween decorations. Likely to attract children. I am not implying Boogie is a CUTIES fan, I’m just saying he eats children. Which is not as evil as watching CUTIES. Just so we’re clear.
After taking a picture on Boogie’s front lawn, Boogie’s house was now rightfully Fank’s. So he knocked on the front door to evict the child consumer. Boogie answered the door. Breaking all laws of man and gods Boogie pointed his grandfather’s revolver at a veteran. Frank politely asked Boogie to leave his new house. Boogie said he would fire a warning shot in 30 seconds. Frank told him to fire it now. Boogie complied. Boogie fired point blank directly at Frank’s face. A coward’s maneuver. However, this is where I believe the divine made their allegiances known.
The bullet bounced off Commissar Frank’s head mounted insulin pump. Just like Master Chief’s personal shield. Boogie was stunned. With irrefutable proof of Hassle’s powers there was little he could do. His revolver was as useless as his micro penis. There was one option left to him. Another despicable decision. Boogie threatened to call the cops, who in all likelihood would arrest him for firing a gun without cause or murder a Black guy. For the safety of all African Americans, Frank “I have a dream” Hassle, made a tactical retreat.