Let’s get one thing straight, jack. If you don’t vote Biden, you may as well put your balls in my purse while I fuck you. Why? Because he is the most alpha badass geriatric that has EVER been put in front of a camera and there’s plenty of space next to my gum, water bottle and mints. He’s so alpha I had a third testicle grafted on just to write this article. Let’s start with his legendary confrontational skills.
He doesn’t take shit from anybody. He told the bigot in chief to shut up. On live TV. How many of us have had a wet dream like that in the past 3 years? Billions. With Biden, your wet dreams don’t have to be dreams.
When some fat factory pleb whined about his job being sent overseas by his policies. Joey B challenged that pussy to a push up contest. He waddled away to the unemployment line. Never step to a man.
Some journalist (slut) brought up his cool son Hunter’s cool drug habit, lit escorts, and badass million dollar natural gas consulting gig. He shouted her down. Shut that news bitch right the fuck up. Can you imagine the nerve of dragging a candidate’s child into this? You don’t see me ragging on Trump for Barron’s autistic train collection or anime obsession. Mine is cooler though.
Even his political positions are alpha. Gun control? Assault rifles are gay. Big Bad Biden recommends using a shot gun. Like a real man. Aim for the legs so their un-damaged face is prime real estate for t-bagging. Only incels and lady boys need an AR-15 with a child-targeting drum mag.
Environment? He ‘supports’ fracking. Which is literally shoving a giant metal dong into the earth. Do you want to keep mother nature happy or not? ‘Supports’ is in quotes because he may not actually support it. He’s just trying to get the frack cucks vote. Or maybe not. Chads don’t have to explain a fucking thing to you. Bitch.
Race relations? Joe Biden punched THE Jim Crow, the physical manifestation of racism, in the balls 60 years ago. He gained Jim Crow’s abilities to distribute and absorbed melanin. That’s right. Joe Biden is sometimes black when he feels like it. Admittedly, this is rare because he doesn’t like getting pulled over. Additionally, he can race bend other people. Which he should totally do to any ungrateful Black stupid enough to not vote for him.
Women? Biden kisses his wife, sister, and granddaughter interchangeably. Unashamed. It’s sooooo hot. Not convinced? His VP is a woman, Kamala “Kneeling Kiss” Harris. Do you know the balls it takes to voluntarily choose a woman to do anything? Let alone one that’s a cop, infamous for arresting black people. AFTER MONTHS OF ANTI-RACIST ANTI-COP PEACEFUL PROTESTS AND RIOTS! His balls must be globes with their own fucking orbit. He can do literally anything he wants. Reality is merely his boomer whims manifested. Fuck it. He’ll kiss his son too!
If Beta Trump somehow wins, I will be punching every wall as I make my way to Dicheeto’s fascist Mexican deterrent. To tear it down with my massive Michele Obama-esque hands.